Updated: Sep 21, 2019
1. The consequences or after-effects of a significant unpleasant event.
2. New grass growing after mowing or harvest.
I find that where I am currently is the space of an aftermath, aware of feeling that I am finding my way through new paths, finding that I am enjoying the feeling of new discoveries. No longer bound by emotional labour.
I served selflessly, there really was no where quite like where I was, inside something unique, dark, magical and bound by the living breathing entity that it was.
If you know me, you'll be bright enough to figure out what the actual fuck I am talking about. If you don't, then you can continue to reside in that innocence and probably come to a conclusion that 'she's a bit fucking off key' either works for me. There's no longer a selflessly serving person sitting here.
I have been chewing over a significant event for a few months to be honest, on whether or not I air some of my feelings. But I've learned that bolting the door shut on it is a better choice and also on the whispers that trickle. Fuck you whisperers *flips the bird.
I've definitely learnt that Blind hierarchy is an actual thing.
I've learned that the selfless act needs to be turned inwards more often than I realise.
Keep growing, keep moving forward, everything that happens does happen for a reason, there's a next stage to the creativity and insanity and I'm in all of it, feeling many feelings, feeling un-bound and...vulnerable.