I haven't metaphorically vomited out my obscure thoughts since July....fuck...that's a long time.
A long time of holding the outside toxicity inside my head, a long time of gradually allowing the drenching of my own being, by drowning in what has become the norm. It has sat on my shoulders in a shroud of negativity, negativity mostly towards myself and definitely a hatred for the dark cloud that impinges our lives daily and is likened to a poisonous gas.
My need to purge has arrived.
I know I'm not the only person to see and feel it. The fame driven rabid hunger, the desperate desire to be the ultimate god/goddess or whatever of whatever it is they're doing, WHY have we become so obsessed with this fucking twisted need to be The fastest, the bestest, the one that everyone wishes they were like? The most wanted, the most stunning, the most desired, the most envied life, to be adored, the savior of our souls? Get off your fucking platforms, it doesn't matter how beautiful your work or your lives might be...your ultimate goals are shining right through and casting an ugly shadow on it all. The problem is and I hear this in discussions with other Artists of different mediums; Social Media....cunting social fucking media. It is a double edged sword and yes, we are in the times where we have to use it (yawn) but its establishing dividers, Its like a plague has descended and sadly its fucking growing and growing. The ravenous hunger, the need for affirmation, the consistent stroking of massive egos and the dishing out of affirmation for those of you are not worthy of all that social media coverage (I am saying this sarcastically by the way...Just in case I offend anyone), its all going up a notch more and more. Like I said...I'm not the only artist who sees and feels this.
I absolutely love tattooing, I love the creative process, the privilege of what I am able to do and being able to share this love with another being, its truly beautiful, I'm eternally grateful for the opportunities that have I have been given. But I hate the social media side of it all, the enforcing of a route of social destruction, destruction of sincere human connection, to others and to your self. Its being replaced by what we are being fed as the ultimate life achievements as artists. There is a savagery and it is toxic as fuck. We don't realise whats happening to us at first, the anxiety takes its seat and takes over what we are doing that ultimately began with a love of creating. The not ever being good enough being supported to be true to its core by the ridiculous concern of how many fucking likes, how many followers, the obsessive nature to keep checking your social media business insights that are provided to us by a corporate money making computer designed to shovel us, slowly but fucking surely, into the minced meat Grinder without us ever noticing. Until we are all fucked in the head and happily famous, they will also get you to pay for the pleasure eventually haha! We will maybe gain more followers, more likes.....but what does this actually mean in the end? Has this become your ultimate goal? Is this all life has become about? Its brain cohersion, half of you haven't even noticed you have fallen right deep into that shit...or maybe you have but your desire is so strong you just don't give 4 or 5 shits about it.
I purge this rant of words, because I got to the point where holding my thoughts in and saying nothing did me no fucking good. I fell into that painful obsessive panic of checking stats, posting when I'm told its best to, Social media destruction efficiently taking over head space and stealing the physical space away from what I actually love to do, creating a pressure, snatching away MY TIME and forcing me into a monotonous pained existence of worry and being dictated to....Bollox to that, I share these thoughts, opinions, feelings, whatever you wanna see them as, just as I said I would, that is whole point of this page. Some will get it, some won't.
I will at some point when its feasible move completely away from social media for work purposes, its in motion anyway, social media began as something fun for everyone, but now it has become an essential to existence and the proof needed to show your worth. Hearing from other artists on how they have been feeling about this cunting social media diseased hostage type situation, has been really fucking great, not great that they feel trapped in it but fucking great that we aren't all soulless social media whores wanking over likes and new followers, although I'm not sure there's enough of us to change the direction of this wave.
Ironic isn't it; that I need to post this on social to be heard.